My Bombshell Revalation
Have you ever heard something so simple yet so impactful that it stopped you into your tracks? Made you literally pump the brakes because you had to stop and think? It’s an unspoken truth or unasked question that seemingly comes out of nowhere yet makes perfect sense. That just happened approximately 24 hours ago.
Like clockwork, I listen to the newest episode of Diet Starts Tomorrow every Sunday morning. It used to be my timer for my morning bike rides until the weather got too cold. Now, I get in my car and just drive, listening to Sami, Aleen and their guest(s). Yesterday, they had on Sarah Landry aka @thebirdspapaya. Sarah is a blogger and influencer who, for the past five years, has inspired millions on her journey to loving her body. In her conversation with Sami and Aleen, she told her story about becoming a young mother, losing 100 pounds, leaving diet culture and embracing body positivity. It was truly moving. But, it wasn’t her story that ignited that “whoa” moment. It was one simple question:
“Do I exist to fit in clothes, or do clothes exist to fit on me?”
Never have I ever thought about my body and clothing in that way before. The obvious answer? Clothes exist to fit on me. Yet, when I said it out loud, there was no conviction. I knew that I didn’t exist to fit in clothes, yet didn’t and couldn’t believe that clothes exist to fit on me. I’ve said it countless times on this blog: clothes are not designed for people with dwarfism. Designers do not consider little people when drafting their new collections. Editors do not craft images that target little people. Over the years, with the growing popularity of the body positivity movement, the fashion industry has become more accepting to different body types. Models of different shapes and sizes are walking the runways, body positive influencers are becoming the faces of major brands. Yet, I still feel unseen and underrepresented. Little people are still expected to try and fit into a world that was not and is refusing to be made for us.
When Sarah posed this question to Sami and Aleen, it was in the context of wearing jeans and the panic that sets in when you realize you may have to go up a size. The average person can buy jeans easily as their body fluctuates. As a little person, I cannot do that. I cannot just go to Target or the mall or even online and buy a pair of jeans ready-to-wear tomorrow. I have to get them altered, a $15 - $20 process that can take up to two weeks to complete. That may not seem like a lot, but multiply that by additional pairs of jeans, pants, dresses, skirts and even shirts and the numbers quickly add up.
Growing up, I was told that because I’m a little person and the way my bones are structured I could only afford to gain three pounds a year. I did not realize until now how much weight those three pounds carried. In a way, the medical advice I was given made me feel like no matter how hard I tried, I could and would never escape diet culture- a belief system that focuses on and values weight, shape, and size over well-being. If I wanted to be like my friends and wear jeans and leggings and skirts and dresses, I could not afford to gain three pounds. Even now that I’m grown, that still echoes in the back of my mind.
I don’t believe the number on the tag or the scale matters; those numbers do not determine what I’m worth. I do wholeheartedly believe that clothes exist to fit on me...or at least they should.
